Marrying Young; it’s not the end

So we all know that butterfly crazy feeling in your stomach, sweaty palms, over thinking every second and all of the other fun things that come with falling in love. Love is an amazing, complicated, beautiful and powerful feeling. Falling in love and out of love can happen with many different people, but what happens when you find ‘the one’? What happens when you are young and you find the person you want to marry, but are far younger than what society deems as prime marriage time? Society likes to have people educated, established and to play the field. I say screw societies view on that! Young marriage is not the end of everything, though that may be what everyone is telling you. Now, I don’t think everyone should get married young because it is inevitable that some will end in divorce. So before you think about marrying someone, make sure you know yourself and that you are ready for what people are going to tell you. You are going to get people that are going to tell you that it is the end of your freedom and that you are so young to know what you really want. You are going to get people who will tell you that there are so many people in this world so why settle with one person when there could be someone far better suited for you. So how do you respond to people telling you these things? How are you supposed to feel about those hurtful statements from people who are just trying to help, but are hurtful none the less? Here are a few ways to look at the statements people may say.

“You are getting married at 20?! You are losing so much of your freedom!” This one is probably the one I hate most! Honestly…young marriage, if you have thought it through and have the one you want, you gain more freedom. Now when I say freedom, I don’t mean freedom to go out and party, have random hookups, see other people and do whatever you want without thinking of how it affects another person. I mean freedom to experience life like you never have before. Freedom to be comfortable enough to let someone in to see every bit of you; the good, the bad, the ugly and no I’m not talking about seeing your body, but seeing your soul and everything that you have to offer this world. Being connected with another person in that way is a freedom like none other! Don’t get me wrong, there isn’t anything wrong with enjoying your youth in a different way, but to me, there is nothing better than going home to the same person every night and waking up to them every morning!! According to Eleanor Barkhorn,

  • “Unmarried twenty-somethings are more likely to be depressed, drink excessively, and report lower levels of satisfaction than their married counterparts. For example, 35 percent of unmarried men say they are “highly satisfied” with their lives compared to 52 percent of married men; among the women that report being “highly satisfied” with their lives, 29 percent are cohabitating, 33 percent are single, and 47 percent are married.”

“Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with this person? How do you know there isn’t someone else out there for you?!” This is another fun one that people like to throw out there. Chances are, you’ve been in relationships before and gone through the heartbreaking experiences of breakups. So if you are one of the lucky ones and have found the one you have that incredible deep connection with that you have never felt with anyone else, why would you want to even think about anyone else and more years of heartbreak?! If you have found ‘the one’ at a young age…praise the Lord! You didn’t have to wait scores of years to find the happiness that so many will search their whole lives for! On the other hand, make sure that you know yourself and what you want in life before you make a lifelong commitment! Marriage isn’t just something you want to do just because you like someone a bunch! You should strive to make each other better every single day, not change, just better. So if you are one of the lucky ones, hold onto that!!

“But you are so young!!” Yes, you may be young, but in marrying young you get so many experiences that you never would have if you hadn’t taken this chance. You truly get to go through life together; the ups, the downs, the sideways and the crisscrosses. You get to grow up together, figuring out your dreams and goals and future aspects with that one person that makes even the bad days pretty damn good! You get to go through life’s milestones and be happy for each other when life is amazing and you get to hold each other when life really sucks! You learn the hard lessons sooner rather than later because it isn’t always going to be happily ever after that many Disney movies installed into our brains when we were little kids. There are going to be fights, tears, sacrifices, commitments, compromises and you are going to learn the importance of companionship and unconditional love. You are going to learn how hard a relationship really can be and will be pushed to the limits, but it is so worth it! In marrying young, you learn all of these wonderful, amazing things at a younger age rather than much much older. You are going to have crazy, amazing, stupid memories that you get to tell your kids. You get to write your own love story from the very beginning, start to finish, and the best part, you have decades to spend with this person….you have nothing but time!

So when I think of everything society thinks of young marriage, I disagree with a lot of it. Not everyone is cut out for marrying at a young age, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! Everyone has their own path that they need to follow in their life. For the ones who choose young marriage, make sure you know who you are and what you want. Make sure your partner has the same wants and desires in life or things can get messy. If you find that one person, hold on to that tight because so many people search their entire lives for what you were lucky enough to find in a short time of your life. Enjoy the fact that you get to experience everything that life has to offer with this person from the first stage of dating to kids and a house! Enjoy all of the time that you two get together to learn more and more about one another each and every day. Fall in love all over again through little things in each other. Learn life’s lessons together, and don’t give up at the first sight of a rough patch. Most importantly, don’t let societies views on young marriage ruin yours!


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